Month: September 2023

There is a charming little village in Ireland called Fore which, in Irish Folklore, has seven wonders associated with it: The Tree that will not burn, the Mill without a mill race, the Water which flows uphill, the Water which will not boil, the Monastery built on a bog, A stone lintel raised by St. Fechin’s prayers, and the Anchorite in a Stone. You can go online and look up the meaning of each of these “wonders” by typing in “The seven wonders of Fore.” However, local legend has added an eight wonder, the wall that moved.

From my unprofessional interpretation of what I have witnessed in my life it seems to me that the selfish are never satisfied. This is a general rule. It really doesn’t matter what we are seeking – the selfish person never finds fulfillment, never has enough. In marriages the selfish person turns the other person into an object or a servant to satisfy his/her needs; in seeking financial gain there is no point when a selfish person says – “it is enough”; in politics or power a selfish person always seeks their own good while promising the good of others – but rarely providing what they promise. In life the selfish person sees all others, all opportunities, all situations, all circumstances in life, as opportunities for themselves to being fulfilled, complete, the top, the best. But they never find completion or fulfillment. Much of the time they are left feeling alone, empty, abandoned and pointless – in spite of all they have. Jesus once said: “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world.”

It seems to me that Jesus is always trying to get us to change our perspective and preoccupation with ourselves. Serve rather than be served, give rather than receive, forgive seventy times seven times, search and you will find, there is a general sense that we are called to live generously and that living generously will bring its own reward. Any married person can tell you that the fastest way to failure in marriage is selfishness on the part of one of the spouses. I can’t tell you how many times people have spoken to me about how they hate the place where they work as it is full of resentment, gossip, mean-spiritedness, and hostility. Generally, they are describing a place where there is no generosity or compassion, no sense of living to help the other, or a genuine sense of seeking what is best for the other. Generosity blesses a marriage, a home, a community, a place of work, a parish, a person’s life.

Jesus says that true blessing comes from caring for others first, seeking their good first, giving rather than receiving is the better path and leads to a richer life and richer rewards. What’s the point in inheriting the things of this world but being miserable because the things of this world can’t fulfill us? Seek to serve not to be served – this is the key to a truly fruitful life.

In today’s readings the prophet Isaiah tells us to seek the Lord God while He might be found. And where is God to be found, in mercy, in generosity, in forgiveness. In fact, God will grant mercy to the wicked if they turn to Him. How do we turn to the Lord, when we ourselves show mercy, forgiveness, and generosity. To reinforce the message Jesus tells the very strange parable of the workers in the vineyard. The story is not about who got paid what and if this was justice, or fairness. It is an insight into the generosity of God toward all of us. After all, who can repay God for any offense committed against Him? What would we pay, how much, for how long? It would be impossible for us and so we could never be saved. But God Himself paid the price for our redemption – He gave His Son to save His sons and daughters, His children. It’s hard to comprehend this sort of mercy, generosity, and love as the prophet Isaiah said of God: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts.” It seems God moves a wall, not to exclude us, but to include us. He asks us to do the same for each other. For mercy is a gift freely given, not a prize won or earned.

In her old age my grandmother had beautiful long pure white hair stretching all the way down to the back of her knees. I often stayed with her at weekends and over the holidays and every night she would sit and comb out her hair. In my childhood memory I can still picture her now combing and gathering up the long strands and pinning her hair into a bun.

My grandparents were devoted to each other and in his last years my grandmother nursed my dying granddad and was the last person with him. At that stage he was sleeping on a bed in the living room. As she climbed the stairs to go to bed, she heard him call out to her “Annie, Annie.” Her name was his last word. After his death, my grandmother went into a slow, steady decline, withdrawing into her own world. Probably Alzheimer’s or dementia. Her last few months were spent in a nursing home. The first thing they did there was cut her beautiful long hair. She died seven years after my grandfather. Interestingly, her death certificate said she died of grief – she never got over my grandfather’s death. She was completely dedicated to him.

People have a tendency to hold onto things like memories, gifts, keepsakes, tokens of love and affection or important events in our lives or the lives of our children and family. For many of us our most important relationships, and longest lasting, are the friends we made in childhood. Some of these friendships last a lifetime. Many of our homes are filled with the “stuff” of memories.

However, we can also hold onto the negative, the dark, the bad and the hurtful, painful things that have occurred in our lives. Sins and hurts that have been done to us can be life changing and life impacting. They can be so deep that they can be buried because they are too painful to remember and deal with. Things that have been done to us are not our fault, but they can still impact who we are and how we live for the whole of our lives. Sins, ours and others, can hurt and damage for a long time. 

Some sins we can remember, and we can choose to hold onto, brood over, call to mind, and refuse to allow to be healed. Today Jesus challenges us to forgive. Not always an easy thing to do considering the debt that might be owed. Jesus places this command within the context of a parable. The parable related to God the Father and the willingness of God, Our Father, to forgive the offenses committed toward Him by His children. A great debt that God is willing to forgive. While His forgiveness is not dependent on our willingness to do the same, nevertheless, the parable obviously suggests that we should be willing to forgive others because we have been forgiven ourselves. As I said, not an easy teaching.

The truth is that sin impacts lives and relationships. It impacts our relationship with God, with spouses, with children and family and friends. Sin can reach into the soul and the heart and turn them to stone, it can twist the character, it can hurt so much that our whole life is spent broken and torn apart. Not forgiving the hurt done to us is understandable but holding onto it can also impact our own happiness, growth and inner peace, which in turn impact our own lives and relationships. Sin has a long reach – and its never positive. The advice of the Son of God is: don’t hold onto it and don’t let it hold onto you.

How many times must I forgive?

In her old age my grandmother had beautiful long pure white hair stretching all the way down to the back of her knees. I often stayed with her at weekends and over the holidays and every night she would sit and comb out her hair. In my childhood memory I can still picture her now combing and gathering up the long strands and pinning her hair into a bun.

My grandparents were devoted to each other and in his last years my grandmother nursed my dying granddad and was the last person with him. At that stage he was sleeping on a bed in the living room. As she climbed the stairs to go to bed, she heard him call out to her “Annie, Annie.” Her name was his last word. After his death, my grandmother went into a slow, steady decline, withdrawing into her own world. Probably Alzheimer’s or dementia. Her last few months were spent in a nursing home. The first thing they did there was cut her beautiful long hair. She died seven years after my grandfather. Interestingly, her death certificate said she died of grief – she never got over my grandfather’s death. She was completely dedicated to him.

People have a tendency to hold onto things like memories, gifts, keepsakes, tokens of love and affection or important events in our lives or the lives of our children and family. For many of us our most important relationships, and longest lasting, are the friends we made in childhood. Some of these friendships last a lifetime. Many of our homes are filled with the “stuff” of memories.

However, we can also hold onto the negative, the dark, the bad and the hurtful, painful things that have occurred in our lives. Sins and hurts that have been done to us can be life changing and life impacting. They can be so deep that they can be buried because they are too painful to remember and deal with. Things that have been done to us are not our fault, but they can still impact who we are and how we live for the whole of our lives. Sins, ours and others, can hurt and damage for a long time. 

Some sins we can remember, and we can choose to hold onto, brood over, call to mind, and refuse to allow to be healed. Today Jesus challenges us to forgive. Not always an easy thing to do considering the debt that might be owed. Jesus places this command within the context of a parable. The parable related to God the Father and the willingness of God, Our Father, to forgive the offenses committed toward Him by His children. A great debt that God is willing to forgive. While His forgiveness is not dependent on our willingness to do the same, nevertheless, the parable obviously suggests that we should be willing to forgive others because we have been forgiven ourselves. As I said, not an easy teaching.

The truth is that sin impacts lives and relationships. It impacts our relationship with God, with spouses, with children and family and friends. Sin can reach into the soul and the heart and turn them to stone, it can twist the character, it can hurt so much that our whole life is spent broken and torn apart. Not forgiving the hurt done to us is understandable but holding onto it can also impact our own happiness, growth and inner peace, which in turn impact our own lives and relationships. Sin has a long reach – and its never positive. The advice of the Son of God is: don’t hold onto it and don’t let it hold onto you.